dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
Randomize
