just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
time to smoke my breakfast
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
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