I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
The good thing about walking home in a dress on sunday morning is that people mistake my walk of shame as a walk to God.
If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
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