so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Randomize
