i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize
