Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
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