i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Randomize
