people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
She has the best kind of daddy issues
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
