Nicole vs. Life
I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
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