come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
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