Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
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