Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
that may or may not have been my penis.
Randomize
