So called my VP's house on Sunday drunk and told him that if he didn't hire me for the new position I would skull fuck his wife. They asked me to go home today. Thanks again Vodka
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
First Peyton Manning retires, and now the most interesting man in the world is retiring for Dos Equis. This is the worst week of my fucking life.
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
Randomize