if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
Randomize
