Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
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