Yo dont text me then not text me
Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
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