he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
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