went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
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