Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
Randomize
