In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
Randomize
