my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
Randomize
