what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
Randomize
