Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
