Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
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