I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
Randomize
