Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
Randomize