just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
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