Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
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