I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
Randomize
