I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
Randomize
