i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
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