SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
