She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
i woke up with toilet paper straight tucked up in my underwear wearing a pizza sauce mustach. I dont think i got laid last night.
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
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