Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
Randomize
