I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
Randomize