didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
Tonight was fucked up. First my mom called me and told me I had to go to the bar to pick up my dad 'cause he was drunk. Then when I got there my dad was doing a body shot from this lady who happened to be my 1st grade teacher. By far the most awkward car ride home. Idk if I should tell my mom or not.
tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
Randomize
