she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
I'm watching my cat lick a used condom wrapper on my nightstand and I'm too hungover to move and do anything about it. Tequila Tuesdays can not be a thing.
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
Randomize
