I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
i think i just naturally attract stoners
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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