I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Randomize
