It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
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