I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
Bring me that man meat
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
Randomize
