break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
Randomize
