Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
Randomize
