i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
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