you win again, gameday.
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
We were right in the middle of sex and all of a sudden his kids toy story action figure starts talking "I think the word your searching for is Space Ranger." A literal Buzz kill. It was equally creepy and hilarious.
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
This is a test message to see whether or not the recipient is alive.
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
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