I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
Randomize
