I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
Randomize
