I just cut my nipple shaving
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
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