I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
See, the Lortab wasn't working enough, so I thought "hey, vodka can speed that up! That's how science works!" Which probably should've been my indication that the Lortab was in fact working
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
Randomize
