I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
I am naked and annoyed.
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
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