Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
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