Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
Randomize
