Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
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