Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
She has the best kind of daddy issues
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
Randomize
