Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
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