Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
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I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
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When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
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