dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
Randomize
