i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
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