smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
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