you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
