To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
Randomize
