How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
Naked. naked and bneed help.
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
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